Pumpkin Pie in August

Vicki and i were in the mood for Pumpkin Pie. Sooo, i checked my cabinets and whala!  Had everything and so i made a very yummy one from scratch! It was a perfect late summer treat! YUM!

He's Already Left....

Whenever The Dude In Cammies deploys he is completely gone before he actually leaves....you can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He stops looking at me. He looks over me. There is zero eye contact. His voice becomes serious and matter of fact. I am basically now one of his troops being left behind to take care of his little troops. He gives me his last bit of advice almost like a briefing. It literally sounds like the guy who gives you the mandatory power point presentation telling you something you already know. Than it is the  one armed hug, and he is gone. This was the most reserved i have ever seen him. I know this deployment is bad. He has only shared a few things with me because he knows how much i worry but he also knows how much i read and that i read the newspapers of other countries. He was surprised i knew so much about his location and missions. I showed him the reporter i follow. He said everything was accurate. I knew it was.....he lives in a very scary world. I understand him already checked out emotionally. I don't cry. I smile. I tell him i love him and we will be fine and not to worry about anything in NC, that i have the easy job, for him to just do his job and come back to us and we will be waiting to pick him up.  I get the little half smile and a tiny glance into my eyes, itty bitty tiny glance before he quickly looks away while kissing my forehead. I know he didn't even want to do that, but he did. He loves me more than anything and i know leaving is hard and he won't show that, ever, and i won't cry and have him feel that pain when he leaves....he can see me smile blinking back tears.....i think he can handle that as he flies back to the depths of hell.

 

 

Waiting To Say Goodbye...

Looking at these pictures i can feel every emotion.....deeply...it kinda hurts....but these pictures also make me smile even though my eyes are watering up and there will probably be a few tear drops that drip drop while i type..The personnel at the airport by our house were awesome. It is a tiny airport about 15 minutes from our house. It is always nonstop of Marines flying in and out. A huge number of Marines fly in after boot camp to attend a variety of schools here as well as SOI. That alone provides a rotating door of Marines in and out. not to mention those getting orders to New River, Camp Geiger, Camp Johnson, and Camp Lejeune all fly in here. The airport gave us all passes and let us go thru security with The Dude In Not In Cammies and wait with him until he boarded his flight. It is a small airport so when you are called you go outside to the flight line and climb the little ladder to the little airplane that takes you to a larger airport to connect to your larger plane.  First this was weird to be saying goodbye in a regular airport terminal.  It was also like 5 in the evening! Not 11 at night or 1 am!!! The sun was out and i was fully awake! There wasn't all the hustle and bustle of Marines in their desert cammies scurrying here and there and children running all over, wives chit chatting, little ones crying, friends (other Marines) gathered around who had come to see the Marines off. There were no giant stacks of packs piled up. Everything was just off! The Dude in Cammies, was NOT in cammies. He had them in his carry on and he would change into those as soon as he left American soil and got in a certain part of the globe where Marines are allowed to dress in their cammies off of a military base. All other military branches can travel in their BDU's, but not Marines.....i always feel for our Marines; as when you see them in an airport in civilian clothes there is no way for any American to know that they just traveled half way around the globe and could have been literally fighting for their life (and yours) just a few days prior and will go un-noticed in the airports but the soldier wearing his cammies home on leave just flying from his base in NC to visit a girlfriend in California may get bumped up to First Class, numerous hand shakes, tons of compliments, food and drinks bought for him and he might not have ever even deployed.....yes, I've blogged about this before and will again....it frustrates me.....i don't know why our guys have to find a place to change and lug around boots and cammies in a carry on.....I'm sure there is a really good reason, probably so they aren't recognized by a potential terrorist on a plane because their haircut and tattoos won't give their Marine identity away already.....well enough rambling....i think i succeeded in distracting my emotions to dry my eyes and get back to this blog post....yes....Waiting to say the official last goodbye....i usually just sit and watch the kids with their Dad.....all their funny little teasing that they always do with each other....Ryan still gets pulled on his Dads lap even though he insists he is too big.....the downfalls of being the 'baby' of the family i s'pose....he will never outgrow anything!!! All the final advice given, especially between Dad and Ty.....i guess football is really important in a guys world.....they went over plays, conditioning, what to do, not to do.....yes, The Dude In Not In Cammies is really saddened to be missing the boys football season. It is just a really tender time to watch them and with them being older now they know the realities of what their Dad does and that there is a high probability he might not come home. Some jobs on deployments are pretty guaranteed for a safe return. Very few ever die on ship deployments, that is rare. Those who have jobs that keep them on our bases in other countries have a VERY high probability of coming home. These kids know that when their Dad deploys he is off a base more than on a base and this deployment he is with the ANA advising an Afghan Sgt Maj and 4200 Afghan soldiers who switch back and forth with the ANA and Taliban as fast as Jasper switches on if he wants inside or outside. He lives in a tent right there with the Afghan Army in the most dangerous place in Afghanistan. There are certain places he goes that the bridges can't hold our big armored vehicles and so he has to ride in the BACK of these little trucks, not like back seat of extended cab trucks, like BACK, bouncing around in the BACK of the truck bed, little trucks....i think if people knew exactly what he did over there they would probably wonder how i could possibly even let him get on that airplane and leave us....but it is what he does.....the kids and i know this is what he does.....this is what he has been trained to do.....this is a guy who doesn't blink when things go to hell, he goes forward. He actually loves what he does and he serves under our countries flag and that is the only reason he does this and why we can send him off. I am in awe at the maturity in my children and how they just know this is how it is. They never grumble aside from what i would expect from anyone their age. They have never asked for their Dad to get out of the Marine Corps. They love who he is and what he does, even if that means sharing him with our country and sending him to the far corners of the world for extended periods of time. They get it and they understand that some have to make the hard sacrifices for those that can't or are unwilling. Vicki kept covering up her face.....i will have to see if i have any of her that aren't blurry or a hand in front of my lens....but anyways...these were those last 60 minutes before he had to leave us, again....it was nice having him pretty much all to ourselves....he was with a group of Marines who were also slated for R&R during his same dates. Not from his team, from other teams, so they had traveled to NC together and were traveling back together. It was a small group, 9 and they met to discuss a few things about a couple places they were headed and where they were changing and some things that had come up in some desert locations they would be making some hopeful transfers at. It gets a little dicey once they get to certain spot, than it is just a matter of piecing your way back to your FOB flight by flight and working around sand storms, religious holidays, hostilities, etc., as you make your way back to your tent. It's not like the typical American booking a flight from location A to B and you just arrive at B. They are kinda going from A to Z and dodging missiles and RPG's and such on the latter end.  We are chit chatting and getting ready to say goodbye.....The Dude In Not In Cammies is doing his best to still stay with us but i can feel him detaching as he glances more often at his watch and his answers become more monotone mhmms or he asks me to repeat myself when i am looking at him and he knows he missed something......that is my cue, i know he is checking out and i just hold his hand for those last few minutes until they start making the boarding announcements....

            

 

No School Today

I didn't have to work today so Vicki and i spent a nice chunk of the day at New River Marina. It was gorgeous out! We stopped at Sonic and got our favorite drinks and than just sat in the sun listening to the waves lap up on the shore while enjoying the warmth of the sun on us. It was a perfect day to not have to be sitting in a classroom!

He His Already A Million Miles Away

 

This was taken right before he went out the door to board to his plane. You can tell by the look in his eyes he is already gone....the wall is up, he has disconnected with us, and his mind is already a million miles way.....back to the battlefields of Afghanistan.....

Hugs & Tears

The hard part arrived....the last hugs before he gets on his plane and flies away from us....we don't say it, but we all know we might not ever see him again. It is the reality of having a Marine for a Dad and a Husband.....they fight bad guys in the enemies land. It's a dangerous job with no guarentees of survival....Vicki always takes the goodbyes really hard.....The Dude In Not In Cammies is on robot mode by this point and he isn't even really with us anymore. His mind is already in battle mode. We can feel it in his hugs, they are barely there, mine are always one armed by this point....i understand....he gives us the big goodbye hugs at the house after we have one last family prayer before we leave to drop him off. By the time we arrive at his drop off location he has already completly seperated himself from the civillian world and even though he wasn't in cammies this time, he was still in full Marine mode when they called his flight over the microphone.

 

Just a half way hug

The one arm hug...

Vix in full blown tears...she makes it rough on the rest of us!!!

Wedding Photo Booth Fun

Just having a little fun in the photo booth at the wedding reception....

 

Moving Across Time Zones

I had been setting a new clock on my phone as The Dude In Cammies made his way across the globe to come see us for his R&R!!!! He is finally in Atlanta and on East Coast time! Thank goodness! My screen is out of room!

I bought these ties in China back in 2009.....the boys are finally tall enough and The Dude in Cammies is home on a Sunday for them to all wear their panda ties! It was kinda hard to get a picture though.....when they stand close they can't help but attack each other!!!